Pop satirist Alfred Matthew “Weird Al” Yankovic does a lot of parodies of songs, which you can check out on Youtube. For today, I shall leave you with his ever-popular, You Don’t Love Me Anymore.

Note: Men, I suggest you … erm … watch the ladies, eh? You know what they say, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

You Don’t Love Me Anymore

We’ve been together for so very long
But now things are changing, oh I wonder what’s wrong?
Seems you don’t want me around
The passion is gone and the flame’s died down

I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem
That time that you made it with the whole hockey team
You used to think I was nice
Now you tell all your friends that I’m the Antichrist

Oh, why did you disconnect the breaks in my car?
That kind of thing is hard to ignore
Got a funny feeling you don’t love me anymore

I knew that we were having problems when
You put those piranhas in my bathtub again
You’re still the light of my life
Oh darling, I’m beggin’, won’t you put down that knife?

You know, I even think it’s kinda cute the way
You poison my coffee just a little each day
I still remember the way that you laughed
When you pushed me down that elevator shaft

Oh, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s this poisonous cobra
Doing in my underwear drawer?
Sometime I get to thinking you don’t love me any more

You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill
Now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will
You set my house on fire
You pulled out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers

Oh, you think that I’m ugly and you say that I’m cheap
You shaved off my eyebrows while I was asleep
You drilled a hole in my head
Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead

Oh, you know this really isn’t like you at all
You never acted this way before
Honey, something tells me you don’t love me any more, oh no no
Got a funny feeling you don’t love me anymore

Click here to watch the video.

The Alchemist

In the desert where almost nothing grows
you’ll find the most beautiful rose
takes its name from Jericho
a miracle of life
I know a place I can’t deny
where even a Jericho rose would die
The desert of your heart’s where I am trying to survive

Can’t control this
can’t let go this
feeling is all I have
I know that…

I could build a tower out of steel and stone
but trying to build a bridge to you
is something I can’t seem to do
If I could turn this dust to gold
you’d see it clearly
Trying to earn your love
is just like trying to learn the art of alchemy

The measure of a woman’s heart
is just how deep and just how far
a secret can be kept
till it is only distant memory
My emotions fall on stony ground
I wear them just like hand-me-downs
because I know the secret is the love
that you have for me

I can’t believe
can hardly breathe
without you by my side
I know that…

I could build a tower out of steel and stone
but trying to build a bridge to you
is something I can’t seem to do
If I could turn this dust to gold
you’d see it clearly
Trying to earn your love
is just like trying to learn the art of alchemy

How could life be the same
if I find I loved in vain
The dream I have every night
is to wake with you by my side

I could build a tower out of steel and stone
but trying to build a bridge to you
is something I can’t seem to do
If I could turn this dust to gold
you’d see it clearly
Trying to earn your love
is just like trying to learn the art of alchemy

Click here to listen.

But just for now, let’s all tie on our bonnets, be all prissy and proper, and pretend we’re Southern belles now, shall we?

Click here to listen.

PS: Drop me an email if you’d like to sample the album.